My husband and I just spent a few days away to celebrate our 40th wedding anniversary. We chose years ago to spend time with each other to mark special occasions rather than purchase “stuff” to give to one another. We still give a small gift to each other at Christmas, but anniversaries, birthdays, Valentine’s Day and other gifting occasions are marked with things like holding hands, taking walks, or visiting. I say this even though this entire blog has been about gifting on a budget.
I believe that too many people give or receive gifts based on the wrong kind of feelings and expectations. I know that I used to. I had this unhealthy and incorrect assumption that if I gave a lavish gift that I would be more loved and appreciated by the recipient. Instead, I just set up expectations that seemed to require more expensive and lavish gifts each year. Worse yet, it eventually became very clear to me that the gifts really weren’t appreciated. Many recipients simply took the gifts back to the stores after the holiday and had a spending frenzy on me.
Over the past few years, I have made much wiser spending decisions on gifts. I set a budget, of course, and it is usually quite modest. I actually make several gifts, or try to find unique items. I will be sharing some of my favorite web sites off and on, so you can find some of these artists and small Internet businesses. I also practice what I write about, and buy or make my gifts all year long. The only gifts I purchase during the month of December are those special little things that the children decide they must have. Even then, if it’s just something they see on TV and nothing they’ve ever shown an interest in before.. I don’t purchase it for them.
Spend some time this week thinking about why you give gifts. Examine your feelings about giving and receiving. You might be very surprised by your findings, and it may change the way and the amount you give in the future.